


Who's Getting Hurt Here?

by onereyofstarlight



Category: Thunderbirds
Genre: Angst, Bullying, Family Feels, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-25
Updated: 2020-01-25
Packaged: 2021-02-27 12:07:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22406953
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/onereyofstarlight/pseuds/onereyofstarlight
Summary: A TV interview unearths some unpleasant reminders of a time in John's childhood.
Comments: 6
Kudos: 48





	Who's Getting Hurt Here?

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: References to childhood bullying

“Once more, we’d like to thank the Tracy brothers for generously donating their time to speak with us,” said Casey Powell, her winning smile trained on the camera.

“Well, it was a pleasure to speak with you,” said Scott. “We decided early on that our priority would be the safety of those in danger. We’re thrilled to help raise awareness for civil defence across the globe.”

“Yeah,” interjected Gordon. “Because the more you can do to help yourself, the less likely you’ll need us.”

“I do notice that we’re missing the elusive fifth member of International Rescue,” said Casey. “What can you tell us about them?”

“John?” said Scott. “There’s no one better in a crisis.”

“And trust me, if you’re in a crisis you want to be talking to John,” said Virgil. “He does lot of work redirecting calls to local response teams who have their own expertise in their environment. So, as it stands, you’ll only hear from him if it’s a true emergency.”

“Brain like a supercomputer and the calmest person you’ll ever meet,” said Gordon.

“And he’ll never give up on you,” piped up Alan.

Scott nodded approvingly. “He’s not only our rescue coordinator, he also works with a lot of communities in disaster prone regions on improving their civil defence infrastructure and policies. So he’s really the most qualified to be here today, it’s a shame he couldn’t make it.

“It’s always so interesting to hear such a fresh perspective on John Tracy,” said Casey. “My own research was less than forthcoming.”

“Yeah, well, he likes his privacy,” said Scott. “Probably wouldn’t be happy we mentioned any of that, he keeps things pretty quiet.”

“An intriguing comment,” said Casey with a smile. “Particularly as I tracked down a number of his peers from graduate school. He was generally described as rather distant and uninterested in social connection. And this from a group of physicists!” She gave a tinkling laugh. The brothers did not.

“In fact, the only mention of John Tracy aside from old school records are a few scarce research papers which indicate he has a formal relationship with Canterbury University in New Zealand. That’s quite a distance from your Kansas base, isn’t it now?”

“And what of it?” demanded Gordon.

“Well, to the untrained eye, on paper it would appear that International Rescue has a rather large rift in their ranks. How can you claim to possess the unconditional trust required to fulfil your mission, when your own brother refuses to care for…”

“That’s enough,” barked Scott. “Speculation on the nature of our working relationship with our brother is not what we are here to discuss.”

The world watched as three younger brothers straightened from their relaxed positions. The command in Scott’s voice and the disdain in Casey’s was enough for their eyes to grow alert and their shoulders to be squared up in defence of their absent brother. The world couldn’t know that a fourth brother, high above, did just the same at the bite in Scott’s voice.

He swiped at the screen and shut the video off with a clenched jaw.

“John?” asked EOS softly. “Your systolic blood pressure appears to have risen to 128 mmHg. Should I begin assistive monitoring?”

John kept his eyes closed as he organised his thoughts. Anger at Casey Powell, irritation at Gordon for rising to her bait, and fear. Fear that she of all people could be right. What was he doing sequestering himself away from the very people for whom he cared more deeply than any other?

 _No_ , he thought to himself. _I made the choice to be here to help people. She doesn’t know a damn thing about any of us._

“John?” prompted EOS.

“No, I’m fine,” said John, exhaling deeply. “What’s the status on that Californian wildfire?”

“All people evacuated from the area. Authorities are still discussing strategy but forecasts for the firefighters indicate minor casualties only.”

“Shift them down to Category Two,” said John, turning back to his array and immersing himself in the weather projection modelling he was working on to ascertain the risks of cyclones in the Pacific Tropics. “Let me know if their status changes.”

***

Scott paced back and forth in the living room, his brothers gathered together. “I can’t believe what sort of nonsense they’re saying. Don’t they know how much you do for us?”

John crossed his arms and looked at him irritably. “Of course they don’t. We don’t advertise it with good reason. And I’m not sure why you’re surprised really,” he said with a touch of acid in his voice. “Uncaring, distant John, must be a robot, let’s take him apart and see what makes him tick. This isn’t exactly new territory for me.”

Gordon and Alan looked between the brothers with wide eyes.

“This has happened before, John?” asked Gordon cautiously.

John started and looked down at Gordon in surprise as though he’d forgotten he was there. He shook himself and the laser-sharp focus returned to his eyes.

“It’s not important,” said John. “Alan wasn’t even born, you were just a kid at the time,”

“AND SO WERE YOU,” roared Scott. John flinched backwards and raised a hand as though to end the call before catching himself. He looked over at Virgil uneasily.

“Scott.” Virgil lay a warning hand on his shoulder. “This isn’t John’s fault. That Powell lady cornered us because she thought she had some dirt on International Rescue. There’s nothing more to it. We know she’s an idiot. Don’t make this personal.”

Scott took a steadying breath and his shoulders sagged. “Sorry John,” he said. “Just, sorry you had to see it all live.”

John shrugged. “At least you all gave me glowing feedback. Think I could get a raise?”

Alan let out a shrill giggle and clapped a hand over his mouth. “That didn’t happen,” he said, reddening as he looked around at his brothers.

Gordon laughed as he leaned over to ruffle Alan’s hair. “Aww, the kid’s got a cute laugh.”

“Get lost,” said Alan swatting at him. Gordon aimed a kick at the back of Alan’s knee in retaliation.

Ignoring the squabbles of the younger two behind them, Scott and Virgil moved closer to the hologram.

“Look, if you wanted, you could come home for a day or two,” said Virgil, quietly. “I know that this is small fry compared to what used to happen, but I don’t want the isolation getting to you.”

“I agree with Virgil,” said Scott with a nod. “You do have a tendency to brood.”

“I-I do not,” spluttered John.

“You’re the broodiest McBroody of them all,” said Gordon, dunking Alan’s head before joining the older brothers. “Get down here John, otherwise we might have to take Casey Cow-ell at her word and launch an investigation.”

A muscle twitched in John’s jaw. “We’re not doing this now,” he said, and cut the connection.

“Well that was abrupt,” said Gordon looking up at Scott. Scott was still staring at the place where their brother had been, eyes narrowed and unsmiling.

“Alan, prep Thunderbird 3,” he ordered. “Virgil, take Gordon anywhere that’s not here.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know when I’m not wanted,” said Gordon, rolling his eyes. “Come on Alan, let’s go.”

“Alan, do _not_ prep Thunderbird 3,” said Virgil, a low warning tinging his voice.

Alan paused at the door, looking uncertainly between Scott and Virgil. He nodded quickly, before hurrying off after Gordon.

Virgil didn’t move. “Scott, you’re reading too much into this.”

“He hung up on us,” exclaimed Scott, whirling around to face him. “He’s pulling away.”

“Yeah, because Gordon was being a pain in the ass,” said Virgil with a snort. “Come on, I’m worried about him too but that wasn’t an out of character response by any means.”

“We have to go up there,” insisted Scott.

“What, you and Alan?” asked Virgil. “He’ll never forgive you if you drag Alan into this.”

“Then, I won’t bring him, you and I can go together,” said Scott. “Virgil, we have to, I can’t let him down again.”

There was an uncomfortable silence in the living room.

“Have you considered,” said Virgil carefully. “That this isn’t about John?”

“Excuse me?”

“I’m just saying,” said Virgil, raising his hands in defence. “You’re a lot more upset over this than he is.”

Scott looked at him, a mutinous expression flitting over his features. Scott was used to commanding a room, used to things going his way. But when his brother dug in, he knew it was useless to rage against him. Scott was a storm, but Virgil was unyielding beneath his mild demeanour and he knew how to outlast the fury.

“Give him twelve hours, and then call again. _Without_ Gordon and Alan there this time, what were you thinking?”

He huffed irritably under Virgil’s calm scrutiny.

“Fine.”

***

It was not fine.

Tracy Island had fallen silent in the early hours of the new day, and Scott tossed restlessly in his bed.

His mind turned over the events of the day, unable to let them go long enough to rest.

“Research not forthcoming, I should have shown her where to shove her damn research,” he muttered into his pillow. “Who the hell is getting off telling her that crap?”

He thought back to the long suffering holocalls John had made with them during his undergraduate, calls interrupted by his roommate who seemed to think he had a scholarship in partying, the way John had always cringed away from the hands trying to pull him out the door. How in graduate school, he’d gotten his own apartment and they pretended not to see the way his eyes closed in relief when they’d all finished helping him move in his belongings.

Scott didn’t even want to touch on his memories at eleven, of finding John crying silently under his bed with a split lip and bruises all along his left arm. Of having to drag him out and clean him up and see him lie to their parents for weeks about where the pain was coming from. Of sitting on the sidelines and watching. Forbidden first by a brother and then by his parents to interfere.

He flung over and poked at the display screen hovering above the bedside table. The blue light of the clock shone bright in his eyes and he groaned at the thought of another four hours trapped in his room.

He had to act now.

“John?” he called in a soft voice, trusting his brother to hear him through the comms system, hoping he wouldn’t ignore his call.

John was falling nearly thirty-six thousand kilometres above him and it should take less than half a second for a response. Scott gave him ten.

“John?” he called again, sharper this time and more impatient.

“Scott Tracy?”

“EOS?” Scott blanched at the sound of her voice and pulled himself upright and turning the light on. He had never given her more than a customary greeting before, and even that had been the reluctant result of a baleful glare from John. He didn’t like the idea of having this conversation lying down in the dark.

“John is unable to respond,” she said simply. “May I be of assistance?”

“What do you mean _unable_?” asked Scott. “What have you done?”

“I have done nothing,” she said. Scott knew her voice was that of a machine but he didn’t think he imagined the chill in her tone.

“John is resting.”

“Oh,” he said, feeling foolish.

“Yes,” she said. “Despite the rotation of the Earth producing a standard sidereal day of twenty-three hours and fifty-six minutes, I was told it was a long day.”

“Twenty-three hours and fifty-six minutes, huh?”

“And four point one seconds, if we’re being precise. And I am.”

Scott couldn’t help but laugh. It was exactly the kind of non-joke his brother might have made.

“Careful EOS, he’ll remake you in his image,” he said.

“I think not,” she said, primly. “I’ll remake myself before he gets access to my programming.”

“You probably want another sense of humour at least.”

“Well, I want his. You can’t make me take another,” she said, and Scott stopped laughing abruptly.

There was a beat of silence before EOS spoke again.

“Your pulse has spiked.”

“No, shit,” said Scott, weakly. “You have no idea how terrifying you are, do you?”

“I understand your logic behind that statement but not the emotion.” EOS paused. “It is not an irrational fear.”

“You mean you’re planning–”

“I am not planning anything, Scott Tracy,” she said, dropping back into a monotone. “I was merely referencing the historic fear of robotic industries and artificial intelligence.”

“John showed you ‘ _I, Robot_ ’, huh?”

“Amongst others. He made me understand why I had been hunted.”

“Right.” Whether showing a sentient AI famous examples of how to destroy humanity using robots was a good idea or not, was a discussion to have with his overly optimistic brother another day.

“You still have not stated whether you require assistance,” said EOS, interrupting his thoughts. “By your casual attitude to this conversation, may I assume it was not urgent?”

“Oh, right,” said Scott. “I was just checking in, I guess. Virgil told me to wait twelve hours but I couldn’t sleep. Guess I’m used to him being awake at stupid o’clock.”

EOS was silent, long enough that Scott wondered if she had cut communications now she was satisfied John would not need to be woken. He turned the light out.

“You are worried about John?” she asked, pausing carefully between each word.

Scott started in surprise.

“Yeah, I am.”

“He will not hear this recording,” she informed him. “I have encrypted it and will remove all traces of it from Thunderbird Five’s systems.”

“You’re worried too?”

“I am not sufficiently advanced to generate my own emotions. But he has acted in variation with past iterations of our evening routine in the last eight hours. I would like to know why.”

“Do you not know what happened? I thought you followed him everywhere up there.”

“I have limited information. I saw his reaction to Casey Powell’s interview. Then I saw his behaviour following your earlier call. There are certain restrictions to my observations of John. He can choose to deny me entry to any number of places. And he locked me out.”

“Do you have to stay out when he does that?”

“Well, no,” she admitted. “But I choose to. It is a section of the subroutine he has titled respect and it overlaps with another he calls privacy.”

“Isn’t this in breach of that?”

“I am a branch of self-editing artificial intelligence. I can choose to disengage any aspect of my programming as it suits. Do you always choose to take part in the social etiquette of good manners? It is an algorithm designed to produce desired human behaviours, yet you are no more bound to follow it than I.”

“Good point.”

“I would like you to discuss this with John. I would like your permission to be present.”

“Well, wake him up then.” Scott regretted the rash words the second they left his mouth. He hated to be the one to wake John up, knowing his sleeping routine was much more precarious than the rest of theirs.

Fortunately, EOS refused him just as quickly.

“My observations show that a conversation in person is the most effective. I will lower the space elevator and lock the controls. No-one will be able to access them but myself.”

Scott swallowed audibly. His life would be in EOS’s virtual hands and questionable morality. But he knew his brother needed him. He was certain of that fact.

“You are apprehensive. I have new programming that prevents lethal action against members of International Rescue. I wrote it myself.”

Scott could hear the hint of pride in that statement, clear as the sky above. He almost smiled, but the gesture snagged itself on one final fear.

“Didn’t you say you could choose to ignore your programming?”

“Yes,” said EOS simply. “But John tells me humans have a special subroutine to help deal with high levels of uncertainty. He calls it trust.”

Scott exhaled slowly and nodded.

“I’ll meet you in the hangar.”

***

Scott bounded through the airlock with a weird feeling buried in his chest. Technically, there was no difference in visiting Thunderbird Five during the daytime or the night – the sky was always an inky black and the lights remained on. There was only one person who lived on board, so there was no reason to eye the empty corridor with any caution or suspicion. It all looked very normal.

“Welcome Scott Tracy,” said EOS behind him, and he jumped as he caught sight of her whirring mechanism from the corner of her eye. “I kept the gravity on for you.”

“Yeah, thanks for that.” He knew he was openly staring, but it was the first time he’d gotten to see EOS up close without the blue filter of a hologram between them.

“John will awaken in seven minutes,” she said. “Would you like some breakfast?”

“I, uh, sure,” he said and jogged after her as she spun and glided towards the galley on the other side of the station.

“John keeps cereal and bread for visitors,” said EOS, and Scott watched as the relevant cupboards opened in front of him.

“What, no bagels?” asked Scott, with a grin.

EOS hesitated slightly before responding. “John keeps cereal and bread for visitors,” she repeated.

“Okay, I take the hint,” said Scott, pulling out the cornflakes. “You know EOS, you’re smaller than I expected.”

“That is because you have made the mistake of assuming my entirety is contained by the camera array you perceive me to be. I assure you, I am much larger in virtual space and it would take a much bigger entity to contain me.”

“You need to talk to John about how to put people at ease instead of just being honest,” said Scott. “Got any milk?”

It was an odd experience, to be awake in what felt like an early Wednesday morning and to look down and see the planet falling away from under his feet as the gravity ring revolved about the station’s core. It was odder still, to be eating dry cornflakes with a personable computer who still had cause to remind him of all the ways he could die horribly if a malfunction were to occur. They were chatting pleasantly about the levels of ‘need to know information’, when the swish of the doors announced John’s arrival.

“Morning EOS,” he said, groping blearily at the wall.

“Good morning John,” chirped EOS. Her voice was pitched higher that usual and Scott had to wonder if she had consciously incorporated the change to mimic the inflections she heard in John’s own speech patterns. She sounded just as guilty as the time John had tripped and landed directly on top of Alan’s newest gaming array.

John heard it too and he peered at her. “What did you do?”

“Nothing of concern. We have a visitor.”

“A what?” John spun around and looked outside. “I don’t see Thunderbird Three?”

“Over here, John,” called Scott. He waved slightly and chuckled at the look of astonishment his brother gave him.

“How did you get here?”

“Same way as you did,” he said with a grin.

“ _You_ let EOS bring you up in the elevator?” John asked sceptically, raising an eyebrow. “That’s new.”

He looked thoughtfully over at EOS before turning to pull out a bagel from a seamless cupboard in the wall. “When did you two become buddies?”

“Oh, last night,” said Scott airily. “It was nothing.”

“Scott contacted Thunderbird Five at 2:51AM, local time,” said EOS. “I detected an decrease in defensive body language at 2:57AM. Then he agreed to relinquish control to me.”

“I didn’t relinquish anything,” Scott grumbled. “Don’t go taking liberties just because we’re playing nicely.”

“Of course not,” said EOS, the ring of lights flashing blue.

“Well, why are you here?” asked John, settling next to him with his own breakfast. “What can I help you with that a holo couldn’t fix?”

Scott gaped at him. “Do you not remember yesterday? Has the radiation finally gotten to your brain?”

“I remember yesterday just fine,” said John, rolling his eyes. “I was just hoping that you’d done the sensible thing and gotten over it already.”

“Gotten ov– John, did you hear what she was saying.”

“Very clearly, in fact. I just don’t care.”

“How can you not care?” demanded Scott. “Even EOS was worried.”

“EOS is not omniscient. She doesn’t have the full story.”

“Then tell it, John,” said Scott, throwing his hands into the air. “You seem to forget who had to spend all those years picking you up again and I’m terrified that I might have to do it again.”

“What do you want me to say?” said John impatiently. “Yes, she got under my skin yesterday. But I’m an adult, I know she’s just looking for a story. Easier to attack someone who isn’t there to defend themselves. And from the outside, she’s right – the world thinks we’re based in Kansas and I have very public ties to a university in a country in a completely different hemisphere. They’re meant to think I live there, they’re meant to have an easy explanation for why I’m never seen with you. We did that on purpose, remember, so no one would think to look for a _giant fucking space station_.”

Scott sat stunned for a moment.

“In case you haven’t noticed, you’re getting upset about someone picking up the red herrings that we deliberately laid out for them to follow. So excuse me, if I think you’re overreacting.”

“But yesterday,” stammered Scott. “You hung up on us.”

“Yesterday,” said John, slowly. “Yesterday you chose to yell at me for something I never had control over, in front of Gordon and Alan, and then Gordon decided to be an idiot because he has the emotional sensitivity of a sprat. I’d had enough.”

“I didn’t mean to shout,” said Scott, shamefaced. “I got caught up in the moment.”

“I know.”

The brothers were silent for a moment. Scott tried to swallow the cornflakes in front of him, but they turned to cardboard in his mouth.

“I just didn’t want to let you down,” mumbled Scott.

John looked over at him in surprise. “You didn’t. You shut her down and got everyone back on track. I spoke to Virgil last night, the global civil defence discussion went viral and governments and councils are making sure our recommendations are incorporated into their action plans. Not to mention, the number of calls EOS has had to field after you mentioned the regional work I do.”

“I feel like you shouldn’t have to defend yourself to do that.”

“I don’t. But neither do you.” John sighed. “Scott, when are you going to see that what happened to me as a child wasn’t your fault? I don’t need to be protected from the bullies out there. I haven’t for a long time.”

“I know it wasn’t my fault,” snapped Scott.

“But you blame yourself anyway,” said John, patiently. “You think you should have seen it sooner, should have retaliated when you found out, should have done something about it.”

Scott was silent, stubbornly refusing to admit that John had hit the nail on the head.

John huffed irritably as the silence extended. “Fine, how do you think it should have gone, back when we were kids?”

“Mom and Dad should have let me tear them apart,” muttered Scott. “You have no idea how much that hurt John, to see your kid brother collecting bruises like they were stamps and being told to stand aside and do nothing.”

John’s hand fell upon his shoulder. Scott wiped angrily at the tears that were spilling onto his cheeks.

“This is stupid,” he muttered. “You got hurt way worse.”

“It was different though,” said John. “It was just physical and let’s face it, that’s not the worst I got as a kid. I got more scrapes and broken bones from falling out of trees. Remember when I got glass in my eye?”

“Ugh, don’t remind me,” said Scott making a pained expression. “You freaked everyone out with that one.”

“Yeah, but I got to choose the new colour,” said John, cheerfully. He sobered as he glanced over at Scott who was not laughing. “This is what I mean, Scott. You couldn’t have prevented that anymore than you could have prevented this. You can’t protect me forever.”

“Watch me,” said Scott immediately.

“No,” said John. “I won’t. You’ve got to let it go. No sense in holding on to something that caused both of us pain twenty years ago.”

Scott mulled it over. “I don’t think I know how.”

“I’ll put you in touch with some people,” said John with a nod. “We’ll work it out.”

A beep interrupted them and John looked over at EOS.

“There is an incoming call from Tracy Island,” she said promptly.

“Put it through,” said John, standing abruptly.

“John!”

“Hey Virgil, what’s happening.”

“We need you to activate Scott’s GPS,” he said worriedly. “He’s turned it off. We can’t find him anywhere, but all the jets and TB1 are still in the hangar. Kayo’s having a field day.”

John looked over at Scott, a half-smile twitching on his lips. “No need. I have eyes on him.”

“Oh, thank goodness,” said Virgil. “Where is he?”

“On Thunderbird Five.”

“ _Thunderbird Five?!_ ”

Virgil’s squawk was echoed by a shout from Kayo, who wrestled the comm away from Virgil.

“You let him know that when I next see him, I am going to throw him into the next century,” she said, fuming. “What the hell is he doing up there?”

“Needed a chat. Making nice with EOS. Avoiding Gordon. Two of those are true.”

“You let him know, John Tracy,” she repeated and John shut off the connection with a laugh.

“Any chance I can finish your rotation?” asked Scott who was looking rather pale.

“After I just laughed in Kayo’s face and hung up on her?” asked John, incredulously. “I’m only that brave because I know she can’t reach me here.”

“Well, at least buy me some time.”

“Sure,” said John, smiling properly now. “EOS, take him through the ‘To Do Eventually’ task list. I’ll talk to you later.”

“This task list is comprised of everything John has asked me to remind him to do,” said EOS, her lights flickering to a cheerful yellow. “The first task is to teach me about aspects of humour.”

Scott grinned as John wandered off. “Oh he is so going to regret this.”

**Author's Note:**

> Crossposted from Tumblr, originally posted on 3/1/20
> 
> Thank you for reading folks!!


End file.
